what in the world...

...is going on with casey anthony!! shoot, when is everything finally gonna surface?! i have followed this case since day one. i have rode this socially paralyzing roller coaster since the day it took off and would just like to say again: "what in the world is going on with casey anthony!!"
Seriously, she has to know that she is going to be found guilty. what is she waiting for, just tell the truth. She's already in jail, the baby is gone forever, her family is continually suffering. It would be great if she could just tell the truth so that this could all end and finally give closure to so many hearts in america. Does she really think that we all believe in her nanny story?? cause we don't. whetherthe whole thing was an accident or not, she should just tell the truth! and may i mention that aside from all the evidence pointing to her being guilty, is it also OBVIOUS that she is 100% involved in the death of her baby caylee. Shoot! I prayed for the baby from the beginning and now that we know she is gone, my only peace comes from knowing that she is in a better place. Casey needs to tell the truth. The truth will set her free. Truly!

Quote of the day II: "wanna know a secret?...you're the sweetest guy i know."
-13 going on 30

love ilene

making it happen

i have taken many trips to mt. baldy this winter. however last monday was the trip to end all further hiking adventures for a while. Two people sharing a sled came down the mountain and nailed me. By midnight that evening i was checking out of the ER with a concussion information packet and an empty stomach. thank God for my fiance Chris who was there with me through the whole thing. so, today i sit here, with a headache i might add, still recovering from last weeks random accident.
in other area's of my life: i have mountains to say concerning Chris and the fact that he has EMT finals coming up. And lets not forget, his LAFD test this month also. I am so happy for him. Happy is not the word. maybe excited. proud. thrilled. eager. anxious. or estatic! I guess happy is part of it. im not sure of what exactly i've been feeling these past couple days and weeks but i know i've got to deliver these feelings in a package that says "support" and "love". You see, i love Chris more than anything in this world. He's my everything. and i know how big this is for him. i know the excitment and the pressure he feels when it comes to passing these tests. i know because his dream to become a great leader within the fire department, is no longer his dream. but OUR dream. i love him and take on everything that he loves...and desires. especially when it comes to his dream job. i pray for him and pray that he has faith, hope, and peace concerning these test. "faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." hoping for Chris' new job, believing in the job for him, because it already exist. Downside to all of this is that i don't get to see him as much because of all the neccessary studying. It's bitter sweet. He has to study hard to pass. alone. and I miss him.

Quote of the day: "wherever we been, i can tell you where we're going..."
-Walk the line

love ilene

go ahead..bask in my beauty

I HAVE A WILD SIDE!! Yes I do.. and i couldnt be more thrilled at the fact that today Chris is taking me to Mt. Baldy.

To me, Mt. Baldy is a place where i can get down right brave and crazy. It's a place where I can explore, admire, and battle against the elements! When im hiking and climbing, struggling to make a path and way... all I know is pure love and true connection with what my God has created. The smell of the air is worth that second deep breath. The beauty of the land is what pulls me to take an extra step up the mountain. I feel so close to Him out there. I can say, "Lord this is beautiful. You are beautiful. And powerful. And loving." And i know its all for me, this is my temporary dwelling that He's created for me while I am here, and I love it. Today I will hike, climb, admire, and battle. Today I will fall in love all over again!

In my heart I know that there is something there for us today. Chris and I. The Lord and Us. Today there will be snow, and i can tell you now that there is nothing more amazing that fresh snow on a hand painted backdrop of beauty. there are only so many words i can use to describe an experience like this, and that is what limits me. Therefore i leave it at that.



Quote of the day: "ive been here before...it wasn't a dream, was it."

-Just like heaven



love ilene

age VS list

A.K.A. MY CHRISTMAS LIST!!

At my age, a christmas list may sound ridiculous. i know. But i have been inspired...
therefore here it is, with a TWIST!
My 2008: Christmas Go List and Christmas No List:

Christmas Go List:
#1. Gift Card to Forever 21
#2. Flats (flat shoes: black, silver, gray, solid colors, etc.)
#3. Make up/Hair salon GC
#4. Leopard print purse
#5. HP Printer
#6. Books about how to plan a wedding'
#7. Wedding planner or portfolio for all my wedding planning information.
#8. Perfume: Michael Kors, Chanel Chance, scents like those.
#9. A Box. (i collect really pretty, amazing, or unique boxes.)
#10. Clothes. ie. blouses, shirts, sweaters, long sleeves, scarfs, abercrombie knit sweater etc./Gift cards for such items.

Christmas No List:
#1. Socks
#2. Pj's
#3. Black boots. VERY IMPORTANT NOTE:(i think everyone thinks i want black boots like the ones i had, but i dont. the ones i had were short and i would really enjoy tall ones....however im extremely picky with boots so it would be close to impossible for an outsider to pick a pair which tickles my fancy.)
#4. Arts and Craft type items
#5. Costume jewelry (except rhinestone type items)
#6. Candy or food items (see's candies is always acceptable)
#7. itunes anything.
#8. Novelty tees
#9. Itchy clothes
#10. LITTLE MERMAID ITEMS

SHORT AND SWEET, RIGHT? i would like to add something that is very important to me. Aside from the fact that it has probably been over 10 years since i made a christmas list....i havent really felt the need to make one which is due to the simple fact that: God has always provided me with everything ive ever needed. He has taken care of me and i am very blessed. This Chirstmas coming up next week, is already so special to me because i have a fiance who loves me and takes care of me with a true and genuine love. My family loves me. I am thankful.
But i love making list and so this blog in particular is fun, yet true and very accurate regarding my likes and dislikes!!

Quote of the day: "..uh, conversation between the taco and the burrito..NACHO!"
-Massie Block, The Clique

love ilene

may I be pardoned...?

I cant believe that i've waited this long to write...im pained with jolts of regret and sadness. I love writing, but have acted otherwise..
well there's nothing i can do about it now. therefore i will result to my secondary...which is making list. i will recap my last 9months in a neat and summed up list of events and feelings.
since my last post was in march..i will continue from the month of march:

1. me and chris realized that one day we would marry.
2. i decided to go to africa with a small team of ppl from my church.
3. my 23 birthday
4. my surprise party...EVERYONE came except for a couple ppl who are not only proven to be pathetic, but are just sadly Lam-o...CAPITAL "L". honestly glad cause didnt want them there anyways but found out that they were invited by my mom (the one throwing the surprise party) go figure.stared fund raising with my church for funds that would be used to purchase abundant resources to be given to children and elderly in africa.
5. leave for london
6. mission trip in africa. most amazing experience ever. i'd rather call it a benchmark, rather than a lifetime experience.
7. chris and i return from africa.
8. return to work in september.
9. lots of problems occur at work concerning new middle school principal and staff. district pulls cover up on 2 children assigned to me who were, sadly, not receiving appropriate one-on-one assistance.
10. sadly, once again, im pulled into a mtg with this horrible principal to talk about my 9 month evaluation...which conveniently was on a friday and happened to be 3 weeks early. the contents of this evaluation, i will not enclose in this blog....but to give minimal insight, it stated untrue defects in my work performance which was 100% inconsistent with my 2 previous evaluations done by our former principal who recently retired months before. sad story, not for me. but for the students now under this inadequate authority and direction.
11. church pulls off most excellent maze ever. we prepped for weeks and the big debut was on oct 31st!
12. thanksgiving
13. day after thanksgiving, chris takes me, keely, and taulia to mt baldy for the day.
14. later that day...chris proposes to me...i say yes!

15. im ENGAGED!! and preparing to marry the most incredible man ever. he is absolutely, the perfect man for me. i will always love him.
16. very fun: announcing our engagement to everyone.
17. we buy scene it: seinfeld edition
18. art and chris' big bday party bash!
19. im still looking for a job. i go on most fantastic interview ever with a preschool opening up on our church property.
20. i get a call back, not very clear in direction, but in which it is stated: "we are still deciding where you will be placed"...which to me and my family sounds as if i got the job :)
21. chris takes me christmas shopping and we buy presents for our family.
22. chirs buys me the most beautiful red coat to wear this sunday @ church. our childrens choir is performing and i want to look festive while i lead them.(END OF LIST)
Thats a quick sweep through. obviously i have left much out. and i also realize that only what is most important to me (@this moment) made it onto the list at this time. but i need to move on to more current matters...

VERY IMPORTANT: even though what i am about to write has been omitted from my list of events and feelings... i would like to add that i have been following the Caylee Anthony case from day one! im very passionate about this case and my heart aches for the people involved. I do believe that casey killed her daughter caylee and i am sure that this truth will be brought out in future findings and trial. I believe that caylee is now in heaven and no longer in any confusion or pain. Even though i wish none of this would have ever happened, i thank God that she is out of harms way now, and in the safest of all. i pray for her family and for the truth to be brought out..only to continue my faith in our higher authorities and judicial system. Time will tell!...
I will now close, but re-open with an additional holiday blog! (enclosed with personal christmas list!)

Quote of the day: "...what ever happened to the separation of classes...i would like my peanuts on a silver platter..."
-King Julian, Madagascar 2

love ilene

my subtle comeback

its been a while. since then until now my life has become a twist and turn of its previous image i so thoughtfully expressed. same age. different attitude. different life. if life was a purse..ive added a couple more, heavy, yet valuable items to the bag. valuable and in my opinion, necessary. the someone special has now become my special love. my duties and ministry are now closer to my heart and lifestyle than ever before. i will explain a little later, however its important that i communicate the battle i war through day in and day out. now, and only now am i in a position to take a step and fight rather than just be a part of the army or team. the battle between my inside and outside. like a snake ready to shed its old skin only to reveal a deeper more mature and developed part of its anatomy, i risk my outer layer at that cost of my insides. revealing that deeper and hopefully more developed part of my anatomy. my heart. what is it made of and what does it hold. GOD. LOVE. POWER. to what extent? i hear my captain yelling back at me to pick up my sword. no more watching. its time to care, and its time to fight. with more to carry, lets see how these valuable items of yours...add to your life. can you stand the weight. can "I" stand the weight. time will be the answer. perseverance will be the trick. HIS VOICE will be the source. i hear HIS voice and can feel the clock. in a battle like this..LORD LET THIS BE THE TIME...AND LET MY CLOCK BE ON BEAT WITH YOURS.

amen

she'll be comin round the mountain...

yes its true. i am going to the womens retreat. its in the mountains. i know i already wrote about his but at this specific moment im a little more excited about it all because of the fact that now val and victory are going. that deserves a big WOOT. we just had our whittier for jesus meeting and now everyones just hanging out doing nothing. well actually pastor wants us to move the chairs back to normal..i think i will hide out in the office until someone finds me and makes me help....lol...yesssss. well anyways this is what we had at the meeting: grapes, watermelon, canelope, sugar cookies with frosting, and chocolate chip cookies. also water bottles. i had a water bottle, grapes, and watermelon. during the meeting a guy said something funny and i laughed so hard i had to hide behind my laptop screen so people wouldnt see me laughing...but they saw. he was talking about speaking at the whittier event cuz he had a dream the other night....i thought he was joking cuz it was such a weird comment. let it be known that a person by the name of c******e is not normal in my book.
we have service in 15 minutes and i wish i could go running....dang gym at our apartments closes so early. what the heck. today i heard a story about a plane. a plane was flying high in the sky and the captains lights started going off cuz there were some problems with the engine wiring. a tech went to check some stuff out and realized that the problem was that there were rats all in the wiring just chewing away, trying to rip threw it all. everyone in the cabin started to freak out but the captain kept his cool. no one understood why he wasnt worried especially because of the fact that if it didnt stop, the plane would stop and they would crash. the captain simply raised the bar pointed the nose up and began to fly even higher than before..then higher...and even HIGHER!!!! no one understood why he was doing this but then after awhile they noticed that the lights were turning off little by little. by the time the captain steadied the plane, all the lights were off and the flight became smooth. when they asked the captain what had happened he said.."all i had to do was fly high and the altitude alone would kill off the rats!"
i love that weird story.

quote of the day, again: "dont you honey me, honey"..."get your butt back in that car, go see your parents, and then maybe we'll talk."
-sweet home alabama

love ilene

i been done got up too early...

this morning i thought i was going to be able to sleep in..thats what i was told...but then i ended up having to get up so super early and i had to hurry and get ready..its ok tho :) we had a meeting in orange county @10 am. so anyways it went well and long. then we had to go to this mexican food place that made me feel a little sick. i think there was just too much cheese in my burrito or something. its a little place called pepe's and the lady that was sitting in the booth next to us looked like plastic...she had a fake nose, chin, stretched eyes, and fake everything else too lol. she was getting mad at her husband cuz he ordered her chili on the side instead of in her taco salad...she was so mean, the only thing i liked about her was her wedding ring...it was hott! she also had tacky nails and jewelry that didnt match her shirt...o well...bless her :) so today is our whittier for jesus meeting im pretty excited about it. this weeks meeting is at our church so soon we'll be setting up tables and chairs for the pastors that are coming. im feeling pretty good right now...aside from my high cheese intake today which has made me feel nauseous...its a pretty okay day. hopefully it'll get better too :) so i guess im going on the womens retreat this year. i really have wanted to go and just recently i heard that a certain someone that...i cant stand...is also going...what a coincidence that she would decide to go the week that it was announced i probably wouldnt be going...little did she know tho.... that i really was going. it was just a misunderstanding because someone had dropped the ball on something and info got mixed up....WHATEVER...thats a whatever with all CAPS!!!! WHAT----EVER!!!! so needless to say im a little disappointed at that however no worries cuz this is MY church :)
well when i got my nails done last saturday i had to go to a new guy and i was a little nervous because i ad no idea what kinda job he would do....yes i was skeptical...yes i was a bit edgy with him....and yes OF COURSE i was a bit unhappy with the results, until yesterday i started really liking them..i got them the same as always. i think the new guy just threw me off....i am a creature of habit...and whats worse is that i like what i like.
i dont know what else to write...i wanna say a lot more but i know i have to also write a bunch of emails. maybe i'll go do that then come back...maybe.

quote of the day: "why are you being so nice to me??"...."i am always nice to you joe dirt."
-joe dirt

love ilene

this is why i'm hot...

i love my hair and my eyebrows today. couldnt wait to get outta bed this morning. i dont know why. but i think its gonna be one of those days..the good ones.
well...so far...my studies are going great. i love reading my bible, sometimes i just get caught up with so many other things and people...that i lose my track of time and reason. but so far im loving my study time...studying some stuff in joshua about how God told him to be strong and courageous and to consecrate himself for the times to come...i love it. also yesterday cbc went to the beach.. it was pretty cool i didnt go swimming because i didnt feel like it. anyways, it was fun cuz me and victory went for a walk and found a cool little place on the beach to take a nap. it was great. one of my most favorite things to do is sleep in the sun...
today i came into town and got some work done. now im just chilling in the sanctuary, thankful to have a wireless connection. i will now continue my studies in joshua. but FIRST...i totally feel it necessary to expressive a few of my latest frustrations...lately i've thinking a lot. thinking of what i want mostly. my situations have been a bit confusing because of my surrounding influences. at times i feel like i couldnt tell what is right or wrong for me..if my life depended on it. i hear my heart...and i hear others....i hear their opinions, their preference for my life, and their criticism. i am not an easily persuaded person, however its not easy to listen to. maybe i AM persuaded by the people around me and i dont even realize it???? hrmmm.
i have an analogy that i want to share...it has to do with something that happened today...
well, me and val drove into town with josh today. when we got to the church we realized that none of us had a key to get in..i left mine at home on accident, i didnt think i would need it so i didnt go through the trouble to make sure it was in my purse. so while we were outside just waiting around we called a few people to see if anyone had a key....no one did...but then i remembered something.....about 2 months ago pastor gave me a key to the church. i put it on my keyring but the next day when i went to use it, i couldnt get the door to open. finally after 10 minutes of wiggling and twisting it through the keyhole it opened... i ended up just having a new key made.....soooooooo while i was sitting there in josh's car i remembered that i had the dumb key still. i gave it to josh knowing that it probably would not work....after another 10, 15 minutes of wiggling, pushing, pulling, scraping, twisting, and sweating....he got the key to turn and the door to open....cool huh. my point to the story is simple. either way we would have gotten into the church....the first way which took some time. some hard work, and chipping away at an old key...hoping that the fight would end up a success...or the second way which would have been to wait for someone to come and open up the door for us...someone with the RIGHT key, that would fit in the whole instantly....the first way im sure had caused some damage to the keyhole considering how much wearing away had to take place in order for the door to open......the second way...would have taken a bit longer, but there would be no damage to the keyhole and it would have been the right key with the right fit...just something to think about...ive been thinking about it ever since it happened...i wonder how this applies to my life and the people in it...hmmm...how much i wonder is applicable..and how much was just a funny time we spent...waiting for the church door to open..

quote of the day: "do you prefer the sleeve with ruffles, or the one without?"
-marie antoinette

love ilene

home...home on the range!

well as i start writing in my blog, i'd first like to say that this week is being dedicated to getting back into reading my bible faithfully...i havent been these last few days...and i feel like crud. my pastor is going on a lock down, which is perfect. i think i will do the same. maybe just in a different way. im pretty excited about the prayer that i will be able to get in because of the fact that these next couple days wont be as busy as the past few weeks. this is all good stuff...and i plan to not only hear from God....but hopefully get some much needed answers as well :)
yes its true..today i am at home...and i don't think i have to go into town until tomorrow. pretty exciting...i got to sleep in and it was great. last night we got from service at like 130. prolly why i slept in so late. well my plans so far are to take care of some church business..study..then...watch a movie with val...prolly clean up a bit...maybe go for a walk, hopefully. this morning i had a weird dream i cant remember it now but as soon as i do...i plan to write about it. in fact, i plan to start writing about all my interesting dreams that i think are worth sharing with others. oh boy this is gonna be cool...ya know i kinda feel like talking about something i love...somethings like....my list!!! i love making list...i know i already wrote about this but yesterday i got some time to add to an old yet life changing lists that i've created AND developed into something great over the past year...would i love about this list...is how real it is...it means so much to me that i just cant seem to leave it alone..its always growing yet still remains as true as the day it started. its the closest to my heart and biggest in my dreams...also another list of mine is one ive written to capture the true characteristics, traits, loves, likes, and essence of who i really am...on a very practical level of course. just simple things that can be picked up on..if ur watching closely lol. its great...i talk about how i love dolly parton and things that make me sick, movies i love, people i dont, places i've gone, things i've acquired, tastes that i've developed, reasons for an action, places i wanna go, things i'll never say, basic needs, extreme wants....etc. its the best!! sometimes i wanna everyone and anyone to read it..but for the most part, i am content with confidential rules of engagement. so pretty much....no ones allowed to read it..there are the few that ive shared pieces with....but never more than enough and always with limitations....i'll probably have it published for my kids and grand kids someday...maybe when i old and on y out...ahhhh thats great :)
another thing i plan to do today is buy some glitter pens...thats it.

quote of the day: "...like a singed koala, looking for an all night burn center..."
-employee of the month

love ilene

lovin my list

i've been wanting to write in my blog for days but just havent had the chance to. so lately things have been good. some days are great...but some days are hard.....meh. we had our pico event. it was awesome. i believe there were about a thousand ppl there. 700 signed in but i honestly think there was more than that. pretty exciting :) now our main focus is gonna be compton. pretty cool.
some things ive been working on: continuing to eat right, cuz lately ive been slipping, and also remembering to write in my journal thelonius....he's another journal, not an online journal but a real one...i love it. in there i have a buncha list...different kinds..things i like to eat...places ive been....people i meet...types of people i wanna meet.....stuff "about me"...stuff about "him"....things i wanna do..and goals to look to and reach for.... the reason i make so many list is so that i am always able to keep track of what kinda person i am and whether or not im growing....to see whether or not i'll have the same wants in a month or two....or maybe to understand how i got to a place. i write things down kinda hoping that i'll be the same person a year from now...but also kinda wishing i'll be the opposite of who i am today....
hrmm...i think i have a fat writers block..lol..i cant really say what i want..maybe i'll write later today..


quote of the day: "never let the fear of striking out..keep you from playing the game."
-cinderella story

love ilene

happier than pie-part 2

speaking of happy
...this feeling slash emotion seems to be the theme for me this week. days are better, theres a bigger smile on my face. happy. its like being in a place where frowning is not an option, decisions seem easier to make, sun is brighter and wind feels softer...all the time wondering how long this feeling will last. was it even meant to last. being happy. here to stay or here to visit. in the mean time....i'll enjoy my brighter sun...cooler wind...and of course..the things and people who r capable of creating such a thing. thankful recipient am i. i guess my next step would be to spread a little bit of this "happy". maybe causing someone else to feel what im feeling is my ticket to prolonging such a loving source. perhaps i can call it a tool. not just an ordinary tool but a tool into peoples hearts and reason. spreading the happy...hoping it comes back to me...praying i meet the requirements or perhaps even stray into the lucky path where everyone there is touched and whirl pooled into the blessings of "happy". i understand it. i except it. and will continue to hold on to it. i am thankful for "happy".

love ilene

happier than pie

today i came into town @ 5:30/6 ish. which means i was up at 4...thats ridiculous, only to find out a couple hours ago that i could have stayed at home and slept in. i never get to sleep. first things first....all my guy friends are going to a dodger game tonight...im pretty sad cuz i really wanted to go. i dont necessarily LOVE the game , but i do enjoy the hype that comes with attending a live game. o well there's always tomorrow. maybe ONE day someone will take me to one. anyways.....i've decided that i will leave my hair color the way it is. it makes me happy. it is brown. lots of people around me have been pressuring and pointlessly trying to manipulate me into dying my hair another color.....however, im not easily persuaded. i like what i like...and at this point in my life...i do not like dying my hair. a couple days ago my me, my cousin, and my roommate cleaned our apartment. all i have to say is, thank God. it was so messy i couldnt stand it any longer. regardless of our busy schedule, the mess, the lack of organization, the clutter...all of it was totally unnecessary. so now it feels good to go home and have the living room all tidy with everything in its place looking all cool and homey. it makes me happy.

quote: "...now you will go to sleep, or i will put you to sleep. check out the name tag...you're in my world now granny!" lol

love ilene

last day of k2

i will break up this blog into three parts considering how long its been since my last entry.

in the last couple weeks: i got a new cellular device. its pink and its called the chocolate strawberry. i love it. also we've been staying here in town quite a bit. i rather go home but i guess its ok considering how late it gets with such a long drive home. we did a human video at new life church this past wednesday. it was awesome. and we've started attending the whittier for jesus meetings at pastor sams church every week. i think the event will be september 2o something this year...i dunno. well also i bought some stuff online from american eagle. got my brother derek some shirts and a pair of jeans which look amazing on him by the way. great...just another reason for the desperate middle aged women at work to flirt with him. dont get me started....well this wednesday we had a barbeque at work for the end of the summer. it was pretty cool ....alot of ppl showed up from different schools. it was fun. aside from all the school stuff...we've been pretty busy here at church just still preparing for our aug 4th event. its gonna be sooo sweet. i cant wait. ive been keeping up with my diet. as last stated, there were a few pounds i needed to shed...and so far ive been doing good. not as good as i could be doing but ive definitely lost weight :)

so far today: yes it was my last day of working summer school. pretty exciting. we had a pot luck in my class there was so much food it was crazy. we had enough to feed like maybe 25 ppl but theres only 5 adults in our class lol i ate alot and now i feel horrible. guess i have some fasting to do. also today we had water day which meant all the kids got wet in the water at school. one kid who i'll remain as anonymous...kept stripping and i had to keep putting his shorts and stuff back on...i dunno. it was tiring. i've decided that a little girl named jennica...is by far my favorite. she's prolly the cutest little girl ive ever seen in my life. i pray that when i have kids they'll be as gorgeous as her...well actually they'll be cuter...duh..I'LL be there mom :)

things coming up soon: tomorrow we're having a car wash. im excited but also very tired. then hopefully i'll be going to our little friend ethan's birthday party. he's turning 7! the pico event is coming up and im hoping to hit the beach like 200 times next week. we'll see how it goes.

i left out so much but i just couldnt remember it all right now. here's a little quote just to wrap things up....

"...i would never kill a chicken....but if i had to, i'd now how."
-Ms Congeniality 2

later! love ilene.

hey hey hey

this morning s drive was needless to say, pretty horrible. i was cold and tired and didnt get to watch sweet home alabama like i wanted to because....well i was tired and cold. then i got to listen to the star spangled banner on 95.1 (my favorite radio station) but it was pretty low and i couldnt hear it that well.....these minor complaints are the extent of any and all negativity for the day.